bunk (bŭngk)
adj. –
1. Redonkulous nonsense; utter rubbish
2. something totally stupid, not cool, or “retarded”

The NYPD writing tickets to polite, conscientious bikers is bunk.

[Origin: 1895–1900, Americanism; short for bunkum]
SEE ALSO: whack, complete bullshit

Last Friday I moved to my new apartment in Prospect Heights. After spending the whole day loading and unloading, I had to return the u-haul back to the rental place out in Bushwick. I took my bike with me (my old one from back home that I just shipped up here—my previous one on extended loan from a friend was recently stolen); there isn’t a good subway route between my old and new neighborhoods.

I had just left the rental station and was cruising down Bushwick Ave when an ambulance came up the street. Cars nudged toward the curb to let it through, effectively pinning me between the moving traffic and parked cars. I managed to hop the curb onto the sidewalk for 20 feet or so until the end of the block, at which point the ambulance passed and I popped back into the street.

A moment later I heard a new siren coming from behind me. Cop cars are squawking all the time in Brooklyn–especially in my old neighborhood–so I didn’t think anything of it until the car pulled next to me and an angry female cop rolled down her window, glaring at me and slowly panning her head from side to side. I pulled over, or whatever the bike equivalent of that is–stopping I suppose.

“Can I see your ID?”

Not wanting to be evasive I replied, “Yes, of course, but is anything wrong?”

“You know why I’m stopping you, don’t you?” She stepped out of the car followed by two younger guy cops. One of them started, “You from around here?”

They explained that biking on the sidewalk (not something I typically do) is illegal in New York. I asked if they had seen the ambulance that just passed and explained my reason for curb-hopping. The cops looked at each other for a moment.

“I’ll need to see some ID.”

While the head cop ran my ID, the two others stood awkwardly with me in silence, until one of them offered out of the blue:

“I can tell you’re a good guy. So if I can offer some advice: just take care of this in the next couple weeks and tell the judge what you told us. Don’t forget to take care of it or it turns into a warrant.”

“Wait… So you ARE giving me a ticket then? Can I ask why? What about the ambulance?”

“Yeah, y’know this isn’t like the biggest crime going on here. They’ve got us out here doing this…”

“With all respect, sir, can I ask what else I should have done instead? An ambulance was coming and I was pinned in traffic.”

Before he could answer me, the female cop came back with my ID and a pink slip of paper.

“Just tell the judge we didn’t see you until after the ambulance passed and he’ll probably dismiss it.”

SO WHY GIVE ME THE TICKET?!

They got back the car and pulled away.

Okay, so getting any ticket sucks. Even if I can have it dismissed, it’s a pain in the ass and dealing with it is going to eat up my time. And it would be one thing if they were stubborn and stuck to their guns (so to speak) about “rules being rules,” but for them to also openly admit what they were doing really wasn’t fair and didn’t make much sense…that’s just bunk.