Everything I Need
Sometimes I imagine myself standing on the very cusp of the amazing-rest-of-my-life just waiting to unfold. And I’ve got everything I need.
I live in Crown Heights, Brooklyn, New York, and my rent is reasonable. I live in a comfortable apartment, with the biggest bedroom of any place I’ve ever lived, in a neighborhood I love. My landlord is friendly and responsive to my concerns. I can see the Empire State Building from my roof. I am friends with my roommates, and we avoid cable bills by watching TV on the computer. I am friends with my neighbors, who offer me cold drinks and jerk chicken hot off the grill on weekends.
Manhattan is only 30 minutes away by subway, but I usually don’t buy the unlimited MetroCard; I can bike to most places in Brooklyn in half that time. (Sometimes my bike breaks down–it was, after all, my dad’s college bike and a low-end one by 1970s standards–but I’m good enough with a wrench to keep it running summer after summer.) I’ve lived here for over three years and can’t imagine moving.
I am self-employed, relatively poor, but financially independent and doing work that I usually enjoy. My work sometimes even relates to the things I studied in college. (Sometimes I think about trying to pay off the rest of my student loan debt.) I am reportedly pretty good at my job. I am a freelancer and usually work from home. I get to sleep in and stay up late in accordance with my body’s preferred circadian rhythms. Sometimes I take my laptop to one of the many cafes in my neighborhood and work over WiFi and iced coffee. I have more power in my laptop computer cell phone than what NASA used to land on the moon.
I usually live on a budget, but I eat cereals from Trader Joe’s and vegetables from the Crown Heights CSA. (Sometimes I realize I may be a stereotype.) Every now and then I can still afford to support some of the amazing restaurants in my neighborhood. When anyone in my family visits me, we go out for sushi, three blocks away. Sometimes I think about how my appetite for raw fish is contributing to the worldwide collapse of tuna stocks.
I get to visit my family and friends back in The Twin Cities at least once a year. I travel there via winged aluminum tubes that fly through the air at 40,000 ft above sea level. So far, I have always landed safely.
I had a beautiful girlfriend. We split up almost a year ago but remained friends. (Sometimes I miss her, of course.) Sometimes I go to bars or parties with friends, and sometimes I try to meet new people.
Sometimes I imagine myself standing on the very cusp of the amazing-rest-of-my-life just waiting to unfold.
I’ve got everything I need, and yet…
And yet…
I feel like that too. Always waiting for my “life” to begin after the next big change. After I get married is when my life will begin. After I move to Chicago my life will begin. A few months ago I just realized I was tired of waiting. The time is now.